Journey to the Center of the Body - Week Five
By Joey De La Cruz
T-113: Thursday, June 18
Creative bodywork, knowing what it means to act, to be a person, playing, galloping in the theater. It takes knowing that our horse will take us where we are supposed to go if we get out of our own way and STOP ACTING! Fucking be real! Be the real person you are. This is what I learned today, this is the lesson flowing into and through my body. I get chills writing these words and I know the universe is charging though my veins coursing through my being. I woke up this morning to a dream, I was being charged with energy, it was as if a whole crowd of people were in front of me and just throwing energy at me! I was literally being charged up. Before I went to sleep last night, I felt as if I had blown out my heart chakra in two directions. I’ve felt this energy in the front of my chest before, but this time I felt it come out my back. This was after I shared a bed, a make out session with this beautiful girl. I came home and felt as if energetic angel wings have sprouted from my back, and I am ready to fly.
Something else worth sharing. In an acting rehearsal today, I saw my acting partner Clarisse so happy, as if she was a child playing, studying the emotions of life and love, working through past emotions from her life. This is also why I love acting and have dedicated this part of my life to the study of this craft. It provides a wonderful opportunity to study human emotions. To discover and explore another person’s life as if it was your own. For example: we were working on a scene from the movie Eat Pray Love, and as we moved through the scene there was a line I said that really opened the flood gates, “I love you my darling.” As we continued to talk about the line and the moment we created Clarisse shared that she had never heard the words “I love you,” expressed to her in her life by a man. She had been married and divorced and although she had spent years with this person she had never felt these words land within her until now. She started crying, real tears of real heart break. Then real relief. Over the course of the following week, what we had discovered in rehearsal transformed her real life as she came to terms with this fact and began a radical path of self-love. She was able to confront, transform and let go of this painful past and to reclaim her self-worth. It was a powerful process to be part of and I am grateful that I was able to share in that moment of transformation.
T-112: Friday, June 19
Nice morning yoga routine. Birthday party. Sex.
T-111: Saturday, June 20
Morning yoga routine. Sex. Meeting other people of the same vibration and amplifying my charge. The energy of the people is growing with me. New places are showing up, new opportunities, gratitude is the energy driving life forward. Be grateful and more things will come into your life to be grateful for. This is an amazing moment, in my life, a new world has begun. The summer solstice ring of fire eclipse. What a moment. Holy shit. Now, I will be having more sex, so I need to make sure I nourish the body, maintain a proper energy balance, add to my being, become more powerful, I can feel my chi growing, I’m becoming super powerful, this is just amazing! But that still means maintaining your focus. There is a lot to do, we have to make sure that we keep track of my path, maintain my goals, my desires, my intentions, and find a way to work together with this new person in my life, apart. I am going to hit a solid workout now, thank you Mr. Dwane Johnson. It is cheaper than a shrink, and empowers you, the body to keep moving, to stay strong and create more energy. So here we go. 40-minute HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) session, full body. -- Boom, complete, stronger already than the first time we did this routine. Feeling stronger, seeing more definition on my body. Still have a few exercises that were tough, the sweat was great and we worked hard and made it happen. Thought of The Rock again. Work hard, get more energy, crush life. Really enjoyed the workout, I feel more energized and ready to have some naughty naked fun tonight. Super grateful for my body, all the joints, the muscles, my heart for pumping all the blood all over my body, especially to this region in my body later tonight. We crushed it. So happy and excited for life. Thank you Pachamama for everything.
T-110: Monday, June 22
15-minute morning meditation practice, it was wonderful. The moments flew by, I felt buzzing all over my body, facing East, doing as the Ananda meditation course instructed me. Looking at a point at my third eye, above my eyebrows. With each breath it grew. It felt lovely, and I’m really looking forward to this evening’s routine.
Development: Consciousness awakening. Beach. Expansion. Light. Ears popping. Hands dissolving. Major development. New mind. Ears still popping. Light between the eyebrows. I feel light. I vibrate. I hear I pitched sounds when I open and close my jaw. The pressure is changing. Listen to the music. Let it take you. Moving the head. Regaining awareness. The fingers are alive, heavy yet light. Light is the matter of my fine thoughts. Gross yet equally me. Thank you for my fingers, that toes. Can’t type, feelings over whelming...a....
Deep breath.
T-109 Tuesday June, 23
Wake up, sit in chair. Not the best for the hips. Sex, great sex. Tightening of the hips. Need to open them. I need to be sure and listen to the body. Distractions are real, even if they are beautiful, kiss you all over and feel so good. I want to forget everything and just be there forever, forget the world and lose myself. But I must maintain some semblance of control, otherwise I won’t be able to stay there forever, healthy, growing, understanding. Today, meditation class, sitting in a chair, working on opening the hips. Email pops into my inbox today, it’s a link to a video from Gaia TV, ‘Hello Hamstrings,’ which I took as a sign to get on the mat and say hello to them. So, that’s what I did. They are super tight, which connects to the hips, everything is connected. I feel tension in my hips and legs. It comes from my mind, thoughts in my mind are causing my muscles to stay tense. Water is important. How do we treat water? How is the water that I ingest into my body treated? Is it respected? Are we fighting against nature? What systems are we using? Water is made of crystals...is my water alive.... or dead? Imagine if you were water, treated the way you are treated...
T-108 Wednesday, June 24
Woke up in a beautiful girl’s bed. Exhausted. We talked into the night. As I have come deeper into my body, I feel myself able to better express myself, emotionally. My communication has improved. I understand that when we are connected with someone at this level open, honest and truthful communication is essential not in only what we say, but in how we LISTEN. I listen to myself as I speak and see if what I am saying is properly expressing how I actually feel. I want to feel at ease in my body and in my mind, there’s an old saying I recall now...’The Truth Shall Set You Free’ all I want in life right now is to be free. Free to love. Free to be myself, with another. We were up late, talking, speaking from the heart, discovering each other. I’m glad quarantine allowed me the opportunity to be with myself, to talk to myself, to get to know myself better. We all need that cocoon stage before we step out into the world.